There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Will you blow on my dice?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
