Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
