I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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