just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
