I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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