im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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