He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
wow bdsm is so cute
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
