Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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