I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
