saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
