what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
