i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
