Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
