Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
soo... how was my night?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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