i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just tell him i said nine months
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
