I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
