I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
