I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
