saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
