What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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