the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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