did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
