i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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