Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
