i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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