so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
