Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
