There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
one might say we're banned from that church
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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