you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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