Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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