i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I look better un-naked...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
