what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
