What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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