its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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