Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
