operation harelip BJ is a go
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
