Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
