hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
