No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
