dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
