i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
