I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
