There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
