So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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