i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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