She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
FUCK WHALES
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
