he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
