You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
