she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
