Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
