what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
